Stress: How to Recognise It Early and What to Do About It

Today I want to talk about stress. I know the word itself has become a bit of a cliché, and it would be easy to gloss over it. But I didn't want to do that. I wanted to take some time to look at stress more deeply: what it actually is, how it builds to unsustainable levels, how to check where your own levels are, and what you can do from there to reduce it.

What stress actually is

At its simplest, stress is a natural response to pressure, uncertainty, change or a perceived threat. In short bursts it can sharpen our attention and motivate action. It is a normal part of life.

It becomes a problem when three things happen:

·      Demands repeatedly exceed the resources we feel we have.

·      Recovery time - we don't get enough downtime to come back from a stressful situation.

·      We have a sense of having little control over what is happening.

What happens in the body

The brain perceives a threat or a significant demand. The nervous system activates and moves into a survival response. Stress hormones move through the body, and we notice it: an increased heart rate, faster breathing, a real sense of hypervigilance, that adrenaline rush.

Once the situation passes, the body should gradually return to its usual state. The difficulty arises when the stress response stays switched on over long periods. The body simply stays in that state, we become accustomed to it, and we become far less able to recognise that we are stressed at all.

Stress in itself is not a mental health diagnosis. But persistent stress can absolutely contribute to anxiety, low mood, problems with sleep and unhealthy coping behaviours.

Stress is a very individual thing

What contributes to stress differs hugely from person to person. Something that floors one person, the person beside them takes in their stride. That's an important thing to recognise, because an experience that feels manageable to one person may feel completely overwhelming to another, and that depends on circumstances, previous experiences, health, resources and the support available.

What tends to drive stress

External pressures often include:

·      An excessive workload, or constantly living to deadlines.

·      Unclear expectations, or holding a lot of responsibility with limited control.

·      Conflict at work, bullying, or job insecurity.

·      Moving home, difficult relationships, or financial concerns.

·      Coping with a loss, a separation or a major life change.

·      Digital overload and difficulty switching off — a big one at the minute.

Then there are the internal pressures, the ones we put on ourselves:

·      Perfectionism, or standards that aren't realistic.

·      A fear of disappointing others. So doing more and keeping everybody happy.

·      Difficulty setting boundaries or saying no, so we end up doingtoo many things at once.

Internal and external pressures feed into each other, and together they shape how much stress we carry.

How stress shows up

Physically: headaches, muscle tension, an upset stomach, tiredness, a racing heart, disrupted sleep.

Emotionally: irritability, worry, frustration, feeling frightened, hopeless or overwhelmed.

Cognitively: racing thoughts, forgetfulness, reduced concentration, indecisiveness, catastrophising, difficulty seeing solutions or believing things can be resolved.

Behaviourally: withdrawing, procrastinating, overworking, less patience, putting ourselves at the bottom of the priority list and leaning on things like alcohol, smoking, overeating, over-exercising or other substances.

Relationally: more conflict with the people around us, reduced tolerance, difficulty being emotionally present and supportive, and in turn feeling less supported ourselves.

At work: more mistakes, less motivation, absence, or finding it hard to switch off at all.

All of those things build and meld together. It's a bit of a stress storm that perfect storm.

Why catching it early matters

One of the key things I talk about around well-being is addressing stress levels early. It can be genuinely hard to say, "you know what, things are difficult, I'm feeling overwhelmed, there's a lot going on at work." But the earlier stress is recognised, the easier it is to break the cycle before it becomes embedded before we get properly stuck in it.

When stress continues, we start to develop the behaviours that don't actually support us. We work harder. We rest less. We give up more of our personal time. We feel we have to be constantly achieving, when the opposite is what's required because in a high-stress state our capacity to make the changes we need to make is reduced.

Start with a score out of 10

There are formal stress assessments you can take, but usually I just say: give yourself a score out of 10.

Take a piece of paper and write at the top: out of 10, where would I put myself in terms of my stress levels? One is "it's all good", I'm happily going about my day, I'm engaging with people, I'm present, I feel at ease, I feel rested. Ten is "I feel constantly under pressure" tired, overwhelmed, heading towards burnout.

Just take a moment and give yourself the score.

Then do a reflective check-in

Once you have your score, ask yourself:

1.     From zero to 10, how pressured or overloaded do I feel currently, and what's contributing to that?

2.     How difficult do I find it to switch off, and is there one thing I could do differently that would help?

3.     How much is stress affecting my sleep and my physical well-being, and what's one thing I could change?

4.     How supported do I feel right now, is there someone I could reach out to and talk to?

5.     How much time am I giving myself for rest and recovery?

If the answer to that last one is "minimal" or "very little", it's really important to think about how you increase it. Rest and recovery matter enormously when you're coping with stress. Sometimes that means not doing all the things you had planned for the weekend, and simply allowing your body to rest.

A practical process for rising stress

Pause and name it. Without being hard on yourself: "over the last few days I've noticed my stress building."Notice how it's showing up; I'm tired, I'm a little snappy, I'm more impatient.

Measure and monitor. Check your sleep. Check what time you're going to bed. Check your energy levels, and check how much rest and recovery time you're actually giving yourself.

Be specific about what changes. How do I put things down? How do I let go of work at the end of the day? That means clear boundaries between home and work, holding time for yourself, committing to a bedtime routine, taking rest and recovery where you can, and having one conversation a week with someone about how you're feeling.

Identifying your stress levels and simply acknowledging them gives you the space to think about what you can change, reducing workload, reducing commitments, saying no a little more often, or talking to someone.

What you can change, influence and let go

Then ask: what can I influence? That might be asking for support, or renegotiating deadlines and expectations at work or at home, while also recognising what you can and can't control.

Some things happen to us that we have no control over. Other things we own entirely and the golden standard for me is this: what we absolutely own is what we do to support ourselves and how we take care of ourselves. Other people's behaviour, uncertainty and external events are not ours to control.

So: think about what you can change, think about what you can influence, and let go of what you can't control.

Short-term practices that help

·      Slower, steadier breathing — box breathing is a really good one, and I'll put a link here.

·      Grounding through the senses. Sit with a cup of tea, hold the cup, and describe it: how hot or cold it is, its shape, its colour. Use your senses to keep yourself here, in this moment.

·      Brief movement shake it off, dance it off, or take a 10-minute walk. Time outdoors can be really helpful.

·      Journaling. I'm a massive believer in it. Write down how you're feeling and get it out of your head and onto paper. Don't judge it, don't analyse it just get it out.

·      Short, deliberate breaks. That might mean coming off social media for a while, or only doing computer work while you're at work.

It's about creating a little more space for yourself, so you get the sense that you can breathe. And then check in again: how are these things going? Are they supporting me? Am I still feeling stuck or overwhelmed? If you are, that may be the point to speak to someone your GP, a therapist, or another source of support.

Awareness is where it starts

So I hope this has helped you today to ask yourself the question: how am I? What are my stress levels like at the minute, and what might be contributing to them? And what can I do differently to support myself with this?

Stress management begins with awareness, but it doesn't end there. You pause. You assess where you are and what's happening. You identify the pressures involved. And then you choose the things within your control and make realistic, achievable changes.

By doing that, you begin to move out of a stress survival response and towards self-awareness and better-informed choices and that's what builds a more sustainable level of well-being.

If you have recognised that your stress levels are beginning to rise, you do not have to wait until you feel completely overwhelmed before taking action. Cedar Willow Wellbeing offers a calm, supportive space to pause, understand what is contributing to your stress and identify realistic changes that can help you feel more grounded and in control. Begin by exploring the Cedar Willow Wellbeing Assessment, or book a Wellbeing Assessment and Strategy Session to receive personalised guidance for your next steps. Sometimes, one intentional pause is all it takes to begin moving from surviving towards living with greater clarity, balance and wellbeing.