Choosing You: How to Support Yourself When You're Struggling (5 Simple Steps)

Choosing You: How to Support Yourself When You're Struggling (5 Simple Steps)

Sometimes the signs that we need support are easy to miss. We keep going, stay busy and push through, until one day we realise we feel stuck, overwhelmed or completely drained.

If that sounds familiar, this post is for you. I'll walk you through how to recognise when you're struggling, and share five simple steps to help you support yourself when life feels like too much.

Prefer to listen? This post is based on my podcast episode, Choosing You: 5 Steps to Support Yourself When You're Struggling. [Listen here]

Signs You Might Be Struggling

Struggling doesn't always look dramatic. Often it shows up quietly, in ways we brush off. Here are some of the most common signs.

Feeling stuck in life

You feel as though you're on a constant loop. Nothing seems to change, and you're not even sure what needs to change.

Feeling overwhelmed

There's a lot going on, in your head, at work and in your personal life, and it's hard to find any space to support yourself.

Struggling to get clarity

When there's so much swirling around, it's hard to find the answer, or even to know where to start.

Physical signs of stress

You might notice you're breathing too quickly, feeling tired all the time, or that your energy keeps dipping.

Any of these can be a gentle signal to pause and ask yourself: "What's going on here, and what can I do to support myself?"

5 Steps to Support Yourself When You're Struggling

Step 1: Notice what's happening

The first step is simply awareness. Something isn't right. You're on the go constantly, and you don't have space to breathe. You don't need to fix it yet. Just pause and notice it.

Step 2: Try a brain dump exercise

Take a piece of paper and write down everything that's running through your head. Give yourself 10 to 15 minutes and keep writing until you feel there's nothing left. Getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper can bring an immediate sense of relief.

Step 3: Separate what's in your control

Now look at what you've written and sort it into two groups:

• Circle the things you have ownership of, the things you can actually do something about.

• Put a line through the things outside your control: external situations, hypothetical worries, the what ifs and maybes. Let those go for now.

Then look at what you've circled and ask: "Is this something I can act on today? Or is it better to leave it for a few days and come back to it?"

This simple filter helps you focus your energy where it can make a real difference.

Step 4: Pause, breathe and release tension

Notice where you're holding tension in your body. For many of us, it's the shoulders or jaw. Take a few slow breaths in and out, and let that area soften.

A body scan meditation is a wonderful tool here. Even 5 to 10 minutes can help you feel present in your body and release tension with each exhale.

Then offer yourself some acknowledgement: "Yes, there's a lot going on. I've put it down on paper, I've noticed how my body feels, and I'm focusing on what I can do. The rest can wait."

Step 5: Choose one or two small actions

Pick one or two small steps you can take over the next few days, based on the things you have ownership of. Keep them realistic, and commit to doing them. Small actions build momentum and help you feel more in control.

Why Supporting Yourself Starts With You

When we're in that spin, things can feel completely out of our control. But self-support always starts with you.

Every time you choose to try one of these steps, you're taking personal ownership of your wellbeing. You're showing up for yourself, making a choice and acting on it. However small those actions feel, they're paving the way for a more empowered, well-supported version of you.

Reflection Questions: How Can You Choose You Today?

Take a few minutes this evening, or over the next day or so, to journal on these questions:

• Where do I choose to start supporting myself today?

• What's one thing I can do for myself over the coming days?

• How can I show up more for myself?

• What can I do to choose me?

Need a Little Extra Support?

If this resonated with you and you feel you'd benefit from some extra support, I'd love to help. You can find out more about working with me at Cedar Willow Wellbeing.

And if you try these steps, let me know how you get on. Remember, even the smallest step counts as choosing you.